I know I done wrong. But so did you! You left me alone and I don't like that. OK first time I was lying on the doormat waiting for you to come home when the postman delivered the post. But that parcel smelled of dog and I wanted to investigate - it's what we dogs do - don't blame me please?
Then you decided to keep me from the door by putting me in the kitchen where I couldn't see you when you got back. I got stressed and tried to get out. Sorry I damaged the floor covering but I was stressed - I wanted to watch for you!
Third time you should have known better! And anyway the floor covering was damaged but I had said I don't like being shut in the kitchen so I can't watch for you!
The answer has to be "No nice smelling packages please."